An Evening with Solid Snake
by SamandMax
Summary: An interview with Solid Snake on his past experiences in Television, Music and Zaniness


An Evening with Snake  
  
"Ahem. Hello, and welcome back to the show. Today we have a very special guest, one of our greatest heros. Despite a nasty feud with Ronald McDonald, a failed sitcom, a terrible movie, and a cancelled children's show, Snake has reminded us what a true hero does. Here he is, Snake."  
  
"Thank you, thank you, thank you. Yeah, I know I'm great. Please, stop bowing down to me. Remember to vote from me as King of the World."  
  
"Now Snake, how long has it been since you defeated Metal Gear."  
  
"How should I know. What I do know is how smooth Pepsi tastes....mmmm, pepsilicious. The perfect drink and it's available at your local grocery store."  
  
"Snake, put down that can. Now, can you tell me what it felt like when you began working on your movie, which was about a time machine."  
  
"I thought it was the best movie ever made. It featured action, suspence, Suspaction, and of course comedy."  
  
"How did you feel about this review from the New York Times. Metal Gear:The Movie is not a movie, but the greatest error ever made in mankind. Snake must have hit every branch on the untalented tree on the way out of the studio.Someone please kill him before I do so myself, this man is satan and is planning to bring hell onto earth."  
  
"See, even he liked it."  
  
"Umm...Snake, he said something about un-."  
  
"Hey, shut up Snider or I'll send you back to daytime."  
  
"Sorry. Alright, next we come up to your experiences as a rap star."  
  
"Ahh yes, I was Baxta' Jonez, the greatest rapper to ever grace the earth. I had two hit albums."  
  
"And the third was a total bomb."  
  
"Excatly. Two out of three ain't bad."  
  
"Well, I guess not. But what about the one CD you made called Gangster's Garage of Goodness which only sold two copies."  
  
"That was an advertising error, they forgot to advertise it, or actually release it."  
  
"I see. Now, it says here you once made a televison sitcom."  
  
"Ah yes, it was about me and my son trying to live in the suburbs. We only had one episode and then they threatened to kill me if I didn't stop filming."  
  
"And then you made a kid's show?"  
  
"That was tough. As you may of known, I was sent to a Tijuana Prison for two years after filming that show. It was a rough time with the showers, the prison guards with tasers and then the whole filming OZ thing."  
  
"So, did the kids like the show?"  
  
"How should I know, I hate kids."  
  
"Alright. Let's get to the infamous events of you and Ronald McDonald."  
  
"That F*** couldn't make a hamburger if his life depended on it. He lives in a salad bar and uses a layer of mustard as a blanket, who the F***does that!?"  
  
"So I take it you hate him?"  
  
"Well, he did threaten to kill me. And he killed Otacon."  
  
"So did you ever stop Ronald?"  
  
"Nah. Last time I heard I was heading for Las Vegas."  
  
"Shouldn't you be there now?"  
  
"No, I got my stand in to go do that stuff for me."  
  
"I see. And then we come upon the murder of one of your fans."  
  
"I'm not supposed to talk without my lawyer."  
  
"Well, it seems Snake killed one of his fans with a baseball bat after they kept pestering him. In fact, they're planning to make a dramatic book series about it entitled Snake and the Fan."  
  
"Yep, I'm getting loads of money from book sales."  
  
"Well Snake, you've had quite a remarkable life. What's next for you?"  
  
I don't know Tom. NBC has asked me to another TV show, this time a gritty crime Drama entitled McSnake, so I might do that. And I've been thinking of making a sequel to the Metal Gear movie about robots that steal Japan and I have to chase them into the far reaches of outer space. Or I could go stop Metal Gear again, who knows."  
  
"And one last thing Snake, is it true that you once assaulted Puff Daddy."  
  
"This interview is over!!!!"  
  
  
  
Snake's Comedy Story History  
  
Snake and the Fan 1-3  
Behind the Scenes:Solid Snake  
Making the Movie:Metal Gear Solid  
Making the Videogame with Solid Snake  
Shotgun Snake in:Zany Adventures around the World!  
Snake and OC's Rap  
Snake's Standup  
The Disturbingly Silly Snake Show!  
The Solid Snake Show 


End file.
